Trump sat down for an interview in the middle of the east wing of the White House for dinner and an interview to discuss the situation in the Middle East and the role he envisions for the United States and his decision to unleash the MOAP (Mother of all Puns).
“I thought it would be nice to sit down and explain what has been happening in the Mid-East while I eat Medina. I have always had the best puns, I am the Jordan of Middle Eastern puns so I thought it was time to unleash the MOAP. It’s easy for people Tikrit-cize my decision to use the MOAP, past presidents would not dare unleash this kind of weapon because they were Euphrate-cats. But we can no longer Kuwait around and let a whole nation kabsa-ize so we will Ramadi the situation” Trump said while eating a cheese Kurd.
What role did Steve Bannon have in your recent decision making processes?
“Steve has not had much of a role lately. He Suez he is still on the inner circle but really he has been brown-nosing to get on my good side, it has been very annoying. He is a damn ass kiss. We will soon be saying Sinai-ara to Mr. Bannon.”
Does your aggressive use of the MOAP indicate that you are not worried about how the people of the middle east might be injured by these puns?
“No, that is simply untrue. People like to simplify my message as if all I do is say ‘Islamabad.’ But my message has also been ‘Obamabad.’ I have always treated the worshippers of Muhammad with the tremendous dignity and respect. I promise not to Mecca a mess of the situation.”