12. Jared Kushner adds Donald Trump jr. To his foreign contact list for security clearance.

11. Cast of Space Jam Snubbed from Basketball Hall of Fame Nomination for 21st Consecutive Year

10: President Trump Ushers Nation Through Crisis with A Series of Fireside Spats.

9: Saudi King: “As-salāmu ʿalaykum”

Trump: “I saw a llama lick him”

8: In Defense of Intelligence Leaks Trump Explains “I Was Not Aware That I Even Had Intelligence”

7: Trump Administration Fires Administration Becoming Simply “The Trump”

6: Indianapolis Colts Draft Quarterback in 7th Round to Serve as Organ Donor for Andrew Luck “We Found Someone Who Has the Perfect Combination of Blood Type and a Desire to Ride Motorcycles Without a Helmet”

5: Steve Bannon Celebrates Passover by Going Door to Door in Jewish Neighborhood to Check for Sheep’s Blood “Been Doing it for Millennia,” he explains.

4: Steve Bannon Enjoys a Night-In After National Security Council Removal by Having Syrian Gas Attack Video and a Bottle of Wine Sent to his Hotel Room.

3:  The World Tries to Remind the Netherlands and Turkey that They Are No Longer Empires.

2: Gen. Michael Flynn Lands Record Breaking Publishing Deal to Release Tell-All Short Story About His Time In The White House

1: Donald Trump Honors Black History Month by Highlighting the Accomplishments of Composite Character Malcolm Martin Luther Douglas-Carver.

“We owe a great debt to the tremendous man who invented the peanut, signed the emancipation proclamation, gave blacks the right to vote, married Thomas Jefferson, wrote jailhouse rock, and broke basketball’s color barrier. His 150 years of dedication to the blacks community is tremendous.”